Is anyone even going to look at a card after someone dies? I mean, as distracted as families are with death, who needs a gift or memento for a funeral?
THE ANSWER: EVERYONE, IT MATTERS.. AND THIS IS WHY…
I know in losing loved ones, not just being a funeral director but an actual human that has lost someone dear to me, any gesture or kind word sent to me, concerning my loss mattered to me. It mattered long after the death of my father. In fact, it is one of the things I return to, even to this day that “invites me to remember.” Remember my Father and how loved he truly was. I know I loved him, I know I miss him every single day but when I pick up a card that was sent, and reread it, when I look at a picture frame someone put together for my mom or go over the countless small cards attached to plants that were sent, I go right back to that moment and it isn’t grief that grips me so much, as feeling blessed does.
Grief is consuming, it is meant to be. It validates the life that is no longer in this world, and it reminds us of our own mortality. When you are in it, even sometimes years later; the small act of love that someone else shared, gives you an invitation to remember all that you loved about someone who is no longer here with you. The fact that your loved one was important enough, that they impacted others enough that they would take the time to frame a bible verse, share a story with you, send flowers or pen a card that imparts words of peace and love-IT MATTERS and more importantly your loved one matters. Something we all fear when we lose someone, whether we admit it or not, is forgetting our loved one. Not entirely, but…forgetting their smile, the way they could not pronounce a word just right, forgetting how their favorite ratty ole sweater looked on them, but when you pick up a card, some cherished item that someone felt led to give you in your time of loss; all those beautiful details that you feared you might forget, come flooding back.
I am not saying, you may not shed a tear, I am not saying that there is not a pang or two in your heart as you re-read a cherished note given at the time of funeral. What I am saying is, it is worth it. That invitation to remember is a blessing, plain and simple.
